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Glad I am not the only who has brought on my own problems. The thing for me is, th thing that really irked me was the amont of money the lost koi cost and the fact it would take a while to afford to replace them all. It was like a kick in the nads. After a while they, (the nads) felt better and I went down and bought some more koi. I think alot of serious hobbiests have had similar things happen, and it always tests their willingness to expose themselves to that again. However, over time the enjoyment that came out of the hobby overrides the temporary pain and you keep on.
The only encouragement I got was a sympathetic dealer who took me out back and showed me his pile of dead koi and other fish, he just shrugged and said, "Some of them they die, sometimes it's not our fault and sometimes it is, but if you love them you cannot give up because some die. I have lost thousands of fish over the years, and I still don't like it but I get used to it by now. You will get over it, just keep going on with it. And... try not to do the same thing again, it was a hard lesson so just make sure you learn it good so you dont have to go through it again. I have some customers they never learn, all they do is kill fish, I almost don't want to sell to them because I know next week they will be back and the fish will be dead. At least you are not like that." Then he special ordered some koi for me as a favor and to get me feeling better.
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