Eric,
Enjoy life, live life, smell the roses, and follow those whose morals, focus, and "aura" is what
you want to be. Nothing or no one is perfect except the One. So don't take it so hard, certainly not this online stuff. I believe that inner peace can come from "living within" that what makes you complete. If it is koi, embrace it fully, but in balance. Balance as in the "cross" of play, work, spiritual, and family. You could do much much worse than striving for that.
Passion is wonderful, needed, and one of the great things in life. But like magnesium, it's white hot light can burn one out easily. Keeping the light burning is a very worthy goal.