| No burnout, just anxiety over loss
You mentioning pumping your pond dry reminds me that sometimes when I feel either depressed or anxious I try to understand why. Best I can figure, I think I must suffer from a nightmare of draining my pond. Back in 2000 when I was new to the hobby, I did pump a very small pond down to just a few inches of water. No real loss at the time, just some small fish jumping around nervously.
But after losing so many beautiful large fish to disease two summers ago, and then the hurricane disaster this year, I seem to worry about my new collection more than I did before these losses. Now I keep imagining that I might have left a filter tank valve open or city water running into it! So far it has just been worry, no mistakes yet. I need to relax. But I get up in the middle of the night and go out with a flashlight to assure myself that all is well.
I will get over this as the memory of fifty floating dead fish fades away. It takes time.
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