| Oyagoi
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,770
| You know what this forum lacks? A smite button for every member. You know, one of those useful "ignore" features that you can click on next to someone's name so you don't ever have to see that person's posts anymore. You don't even know they're there afterwards and ignorance is certainly bliss.
And while I'm thinking about it, I think there should be a sticky explaining forum etiquette and how to get the most out of one's posting/discussing experience here. There are polite protocols to entering and posting to threads here since we're such a studious and serious group of kichi, and much of what we discuss is for our higher learning of the hobby and often takes on more formal interaction.
What I cherish the most about this forum is that it is thankfully not an embellished chat site--I don't have to wade through a gazillion posts of non-related chit chat or pages of "love your pond mutt" congratulatory posts to find one little gem of something that actually forwards my learning of Nishikigoi and their husbandry. I'm not a snob, but I very seriously want to learn the hard stuff, the stuff that takes lots of education to properly digest. I don't have the time or the inclination to spin my wheels piecing patchwork of snippets of truth together through a long thread of distracting highjacks that waylay pertinent points yet to be made by the "teachers" in that instance that will eventually bring the understanding of the subject full circle but never get to be finished because of the trainwreck. I hate that, and I'm sure everyone else resents it too.
Part of the etiquette sticky should have a good list of what NOT to do in order to contribute to or ask questions in a thread without distroying it or highjacking it (which is just rude to everyone reading and is done more often in ignorance as malicious intent). Forum etiquette should be outlined in a friendly manner so those that are new here can read it and understand how this board works before anyone is either offended or reprimanded for posting stuff that goes against the rules and customs of the board. For instance, one of the rules that newbies don't know about is that only paid advertisers can advertise and sell their wares here--there is no casual trader forum since there are ethics to consider towards our paid advertisers who are the real people that keep this site financially running. Gotta respect that, but if you don't know about it, one may not understand or appreciate the ethics behind having your thread shut down or repremanded for something posted that violates the code of ethics surrounding trade that competes with the site's monetary support system, causing all sorts of misunderstandings and hurt feelers. Simple stuff like knowing that aforehand can keep some newbies out of hot water and our moderator from having to step in and say, "Hey, you can't do that," and all the awkwardness associated with that simply because someone didn't understand the rules of engagement to begin with. Things that are understood amongst the longtime residents here can be mystifying to a newbie that has only chat room experience to lean on. We are here to learn and to teach, to give each other a hand up in this wonderful hobby that we share and love. It's what friendship through koi is all about.
I can't help but think that if John Hawley had approached the board in a more mindful manner towards the residents and their customs, and took the time to cultivate friends first before making enemies, we could better put up with his style of writing and inquiry. Sometimes it's not so good to jump in with both feet flailing into unknown territory without initially gaining some kind of familiarity and acceptance of the natives. To test the water and its inhabitants by first introducing oneself and one's interest in the hobby and inquiring about accepted customs of inquiry and behavior in this setting, and learning how to go with the flow instead of trying to bend and change it to ones own idea of how it should be is far preferrable to bellyflopping in the common pond over and over again to the chagrin of everyone who resents such disruptive and disrespectful behavior. Making waves from the git go does not make one popular or even liked. The resentment is very real. Only friends can make waves with friends and hope to get away with it in a good natured manner.
Can we all conspire to create a sticky that reflects our credos here, posting etiquette, and the base rules set down by the creator of this great forum? I would hope that this would help new people understand the heart and purpose of this board before some of us have to get cranky with peeps that just don't get it without it finally being spelled out for them in exasperation and disgust. Every necessary confrontation like this ruins the ambience of an otherwise scholarly thread and abruptly turns a wholesome learning medium into a distracting mess of hate and discontent that never had to happen. I've seen people leave for weeks because of one blow out or another, due often to simple misunderstandings that probably wouldn't have happened had we been face to face and able to read tone of voice and body language. It is important to remember that in printed conversation only 1/3 of one's total meaning is able to be seen in the words alone. With no tone inflections, facial expressions or body movements to draw from, a reader can filter others' words through their own mood and point of view and hear them as something far different than intended. Being reminded of this in the etiquette sticky can help people think about wording and punctuating their post in such a way that their meaning won't be so readily misunderstood. And it sure as heck should relieve a lot of us from getting caught up in misunderstandings that didn't have to be if people were reminded to think before they post something for sure--preview their post and read it over again to see if there could be any doubt as to how someone might take what they've written.
I don't think I'm asking too much of anyone here to just be mindful of others' feelings and beliefs, to be respectful towards others and accepting of each others' differences even if we don't agree. Debates go ever so much easier if the proper respect towards each other is in place. It takes a lot of different people to make a world and we're not all clones. I would rather see us celebrate our differences and actually BE FRIENDS through koi.
It's a shared love, so why not? 
Marie
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03-04-2007
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