This is all in fun guys
Internet Politics From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Internet Politics are the primary source of
drama on the
Internets.
How do Internet Politics work?
Internet Politics is a system of argument that makes no sense whatsoever and is entirely
gay. Basically, Internet Politics is performed by a bunch of fat
basement-dwelling assholes who
think their opinion matters. There are two main groups, the Internet
Conservatives and Internet
Liberals, who both want to see the other dead.
Internet Conservatives 
According to Internet Liberals, this is what all Conservatives look like.
Internet Conservatives are typically
internet tough guys. Your average internet conservative will tell you up front that he was in every war for the past 20 years in the
Army, Marines, and Navy simultaneously (please note they never claim to be in the Air Force because they realize that doesn't impress anyone). They tend to support the Iraq War,
George W. Bush, and
traditional moral values. They are also
antigay, which, according to Liberals, makes them gay. Internet Conservatives are rare because most of them tend to be too busy fapping to
Fox News to argue on the internet all day. Many will content themselves to just hanging out at
Conservapedia and soliciting gay sex. The ones that do actively argue, though, tend to be senile 60-something wackos who place their shotguns next to their keyboards while arguing. They suffer from nearly-toxic levels of
unwarranted self-importance.
Internet Conservatives are destined to
claim victory in every argument they ever participate in, due to their sheer inability to comprehend defeat, no matter what actually happened. Conservatives like to imagine themselves as
lone wolves, deftly fending off a pack of evil liberals with whatever facts they pulled off the
Hal Turner show
last Thursday. They get sexual pleasure from asking
why you hate America.
How to Argue Against an Internet Conservative
Arguing against internet conservatives requires skill and practice as most are
dumber than a block of cement and don't know how to
lose. Luckily most are incapable of accessing the internet as they either live
somewhere where there is no internet or believe that
the internet is the devil.
When encountering one, nothing will send them into a keyboard smashing
rage faster than insinuating that
America is not the greatest country on earth. Vivid descriptions of kinky
gay sex with
niggers followed by impulse abortions and burning churches will create a storm of
lulzy internet rage rarely seen in this day and age.
Famous Internet Conservatives Internet Liberals 
According to Internet Conservatives, this is what all Liberals look like.
Internet Liberals are always sexually confused transvestites,
wiccan, and ugly fat women who can't get laid.
Liberals can be spotted by dicking up a forum in which they know nobody will agree with them, and screeching like hyenas and begging the mod to ban anyone who is even slightly moderate at their own forums. The criteria to be a liberal requires you think
abortion is a holy sacrament, all wars are bad except the civil war cause that one saved
niggers,
animals have rights, and
women are sexually repressed by male domination..
In an argument, the Internet Liberal will make a vague statement of their personal
philosophy which will generally involve
being personally conservative on an issue such as gay marriage or abortion, but politically letting people make their own choices. When you make a rational accusation that someone can't be for and against something at the same time, they go into full-on
BAWW mode. They will invariably call you a
Nazi pig and tell you that people like you are the reason they're glad they're moving to
Canada. If pushed a little further they will talk about
how badly you hurt their feelings and how they're never evar coming back. If given a couple days they'll come back demanding an apology.
Fun fact: At least 100% of Internet Liberals believe doing absolutely nothing is the answer to every problem. How to Argue Against Internet Liberals
As an internet conservative, your job is not so much to win arguments as to
seriously piss off the liberal. Since
arguing on the internet is inherently pointless and will inevitably descend into bans and deleted posts anyway, your main goal should be to seek the ultimate amount of
lulz per minute. This is remarkably easy to do as most internet liberals are born with massive amounts of
butthurt lying below the surface, just waiting to be exploited to their full potential.
In addition to hyphenated last names, this image will aid you in spotting a Liberal.
The important thing to understand here and use to your advantage is the fact that internet liberals care, way to much, about
human rights. They are easily
offended and consider even joking about one of the many
atrocities they see in the world around them to be
a crime against humanity.
The Liberalmobile: Get out the way!
You should open with a mention of how low the gas mileage is on your
American-made polished-turd wagon, and that you run the AC on maximum at all times. Tell them that you beat up endangered species for fun and that you're sick of seeing your tax money going to educate
nigras when it should be going to blow up
Iraqis (never talk about helping Iraqis because that decreases the shock value). Finish by going into detail on how many guns you own and your intention to buy more. Respond to every statement they make, whether about foreign policy or the environment, with
why do you hate America?.
Since every other member of whatever message board or
IM session you're on is most likely a Liberal, the people you are arguing against will most likely successfully
salt the Earth, making sure you can never show your face there again.
Good work, as a successful conservatroll will have already found another
lol-cow to exploit.
Famous Internet Liberals 
4 Weeks Ago
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