Am I truly ready for this?

[lildude]

I dont think I am ready for this, I dont even know anything close to all of you, besides, my passion has got in the way a lot, more than a lot. A ton.
I dont think its time for me to write a book, or even continue the koi life as much as I have been. Its starting to feel dull, and not worth it, because of my stupid actions, I have pretty much killed it for me.
I just need to rest, I am exhausted from all this drama. besides, I am pretty sure I like koi too much, its probably very unhealthy for me to be doing this. My koi hobby is coming to a crossroad. Koicop PM'ed me pretty much saying "shut the hell up". He said I had posted 24 posts in 24 hours, which I dont think is a lot, but watever.
It kind of puzzled me, but for the most part he was right. I need to "shut the hell up". I dont really know why he would just say this, but whatever, I am starting not to care anymore. This hobby is so exhausting, I wish we could all learn in peace and harmony, but unfortunately its not gonna be that way. Maybe everyone can look at this and hopefully reflect on it, not due to anything selfish but just to realize where we all are and how we all could make this hobby better, and more fun. I think a lot or people probably think the same as I, and a lot of people probably dont.


I will continue to honor everyones wishes, gifts, and advice. No way in heck will I throw all that away, that would be so disrespectful to all that still care about me and still see some kind of potential in me. Thank you so much Russell, Bob winkler, Dick benbow, keokoi, Nancy M, and so many more. but I want to thank Kari the most. Kari, I have become very close to you, closest I have ever let anyone on here get. I will probably stick my head in from time to time at your place. Thank you for eveything you have done. maybe my koi hobby isnt done afterall, just online.
My head hurts...

Its gonna be hard for me not to come here anymore.

I kind of want to lead a more normal life, but not koi free. I see my friends, they look so happy. And here am I, worry about all this stuff on the internet. I am joining swimming in the spring, hopefully that will make me more healthier and keep me away from here, and consume the time I have more.

I see other people my age, and I wonder, "what has gone wrong with me?"
"I am supposed to act like them", "Why cant I act like them?" and then I would think "I'm Not supposed to be worrying about this kind of stuff." Im supposed to have fun, Im supposed to enjoy my teenage years while I can.

What do you think of this? Im kinda confused.

Please lets keep the posts hostile free.

[saratogatan]

lil,
I believe one should 'act like one should be', not 'like them'. As for the hobby, I can only say from my life eperience that there are other stuff in life than the hobby, you need to find the balance, or create one, such that you can enjoy life instead of going thru like.

about posting on the internet, I believe it can become addictive. Again it is about balance, but in this case, less is better unless you are making a living out of it.

stan

[RayJordan]

Well said Stan. Koi and koi forums can become addictive for some. Some can balance with all their other responsibilities and some can not. I have know some hobbyists that have had to quit visiting koi forums completely to keep from being consumed by them.

Keep it fun and do not over indulge.

[lildude]

Thank you both for talking to me.

[koiczar]

Eric

Life's too short to sweat the small stuff. This board is "small stuff" with regards to LIFE!! Yes, it can begin to consume one's time and energy. It also becomes like "a bible" to some. Here's a piece of "free" advice-so take it for what it's worth - step back for the holidays, learn to think about what you are posting BEFORE you post it and again after you've typed it but before you hit the submit button. It is clearly understandable that you have a lot of passion about this hobby at your age. It's been a long time ago for me, but I still remember when... The hobby is still an addiction for me and will probably always be. I still get carried away and so do my emotions - especially when someone challenges something I've come to believe as fact that is proven wrong. If you get complacent in your thinking that you have enough of the answers, stop and think again. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. Things keep changing and unless you can change with them, you and your thinking will get left behind.

There are quite a few scientific minds on the forum. Some have very different points of view on the science of the hobby. This can make things very confusing for many. Take them with a grain of salt. Pay attention to your fish. They are your scientists (I'm not making fun of any of the science guys here). They will tell you when something is wrong (usually). Of course, someone will think, well if they look fine all the time, then I guess I'm doing everything right. Not necessarily so. Just keep your maintenance routine (whatever it is that is successful) and don't deviate from it.

Anyway, Eric, I'm rambling on again here. You're right, you should be enjoying your teen years. Yes, you've found something to be passionate about. So do others but in different ways. Doesn't make what you do wrong or right. It's just what you like to do. If someone else doesn't like it, well, let them find something they do like and move on. Reflect on what you want the hobby to be for you, and then go for it.

Have a happy holidays

Mike

[carolyn swanson]

The previous guys have some wonderfully wise things to say.

I think of you as a pup with a lot of energy and enthusiasm, not always knowing what to do with it. People do understand, but don't be surprised to get a swat on the snoot with the newspaper every once in a while. It's part of the whole growing up process.

[koiczar]

Quote: Originally Posted by carolyn swanson The previous guys have some wonderfully wise things to say. I think of you as a pup with a lot of energy and enthusiasm, not always knowing what to do with it. People do understand, but don't be surprised to get a swat on the snoot with the newspaper every once in a while. It's part of the whole growing up process.

Carolyn

Nice words of wisdom - and to think, you said what I wanted to, in a hell of a lot less space!LOL

Mike

[kingkong]

Try spinning with some head sets Lildude. This way you can keep up with the net and keep in shape.

[Bob Winkler]

Eric,


Enjoy life, live life, smell the roses, and follow those whose morals, focus, and "aura" is what you want to be. Nothing or no one is perfect except the One. So don't take it so hard, certainly not this online stuff. I believe that inner peace can come from "living within" that what makes you complete. If it is koi, embrace it fully, but in balance. Balance as in the "cross" of play, work, spiritual, and family. You could do much much worse than striving for that. Passion is wonderful, needed, and one of the great things in life. But like magnesium, it's white hot light can burn one out easily. Keeping the light burning is a very worthy goal.

[Russell Peters]

Eric,

It is simple, stop feeling sorry for yourself and think before you post. Just because you have been asked to tone it down is no reason to take your ball home.

Russ